I can’t wait to eat all that delicious turkey tomorrow. Turkey and mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce and stuffing and carrots and string beans and PIE. All I care about anymore is food. I’m gaining approximately three pounds per day, and I love it. Love. Because everyone else in America is gaining weight right now too. There’s no way anyone currently trying to lose weight manages to actually do so this week. So give me more pie!

What’s a treadmill?

And how am I going to celebrate this Thanksgiving break?

By doing absolutely nothing but listening to music and reading and gorging myself on abhorrent amounts of junk food as dictated by today’s trip to the grocery store.

And being thankful for it!

Can’t believe the semester is nearly over, man. It feels like it just started, but it’s actually been three months. Before I know it, my final semester of college will be upon me. And after that? That’s up for negotiation, I guess, but I’m planning on heading back down under. And I can’t wait.

There comes a time in every student’s life, where all motivation is gone. All goals involve sleeping or slacking off in one way or another, and nothing that is actually productive seems worthwhile. Those who are perpetually lethargic suffer even more extreme dormancy. After a week of break and ample amounts of turkey and stuffing (although I hear lots of people eat ham instead of turkey; blasphemy if I ever heard it. It’s nicknamed Turkey Day for a reason!), the remaining three weeks of classes seem impossible to get through. It’s what I like to call The Post-Thanksgiving/Pre-Christmas Hiccup.

It’s currently Wednesday evening of week one, and I am laying in my bed after a rough three days. I woke up and nearly skipped my first class, fell asleep in my second, and then returned to my dorm to practice for an oral final in my Spanish class. It has been a struggle just to get to this point, and I have more to do tomorrow and Friday, not to mention getting through next week and studying for finals week after that. I haven’t felt up to doing anything at all, as focus had been hard to come by.

The mounting frustration with my roommate doesn’t help either. I’m growing tired of his antics. He is too conditioned to doing as he pleases. He is messy, as he grew up with a nanny who changed his bedsheets every other day. He has never taken out the trash, and he is completely devoid of all common sense. There’s a reason the room always smells; he rarely does his laundry, and he never does it all at once so even when he does, there’s still a giant pile festering in his closet - not to mention his closet door is always open. He leaves the TV on at night, and wakes me up with his inconsiderate racket. I’m completely sick of the radio show he listens to on his iPhone daily - without earphones. People in the rooms next to me blast music, and people yell in the halls. I wish I could just turn off the sound. I can’t sleep, I can’t focus, I just get pissed off.

Roommate is now on this acne medication which apparently makes you have suicidal thoughts. Well, there are rumors here at Penn State that if your roommate dies, you get all As for the semester because it is “too traumatic” for us, and we can’t be expected to perform at our best. All I have to say is that if he has any plans, I hope he goes through with them within the next two and a half weeks. Come on, let’s test this theory out! Although I would accept an early-spring semester suicide, as well. All I ask is that he do it somewhere else as I’m not keen on dead bodies hanging out.

I don’t know how I am going to make it through this. He is supposedly taking a leave of absence next semester, and I’d love to have the room to myself. Everyone says I’ll just get a new roommate, but my friend’s roommate studied abroad second semester last year and she never got a new roommate. All I know is that I better see some cardboard boxes soon, or else I might be the one moving out.

I’m at the point of no return - just watch me burn.