As we ascended, the window to my right soon became filled with an awe-inspiring view of the city, the harbour, the bridge, the opera house. But the view soon gave way, flickering back and forth as we raced into and out of clearings in the clouds. I tried with everything in me to hold onto that view, tried to hold onto my life there, tried desperately to find a semblance of solid ground to stand on and to suddenly not be on the plane which would take me further and further away for the next 16 hours.

But I failed. All I could do was watch and hope for the short glimpses that would soon end, turned fully around in my seat so I could watch it for as long as I could, until I could no longer see those fantastic cliffs marking the edge of a country which I had learned to call home.

I left an active life for a sedentary one, exchanging winter for summer once again. Days spent sunning and reading, nights spent dreaming of Oz.

We were in New York City, hanging out for the first time post-breakup. This was probably bought on by the fact that until a few days ago, the last time I was in the city was with him. We were at some sort of pool party, I think. Just hanging out.

Eventually the party ends, and he invites me to another one happening somewhere else. So I agree to go, and as we’re leaving I realize that I’ve forgotten my jacket, so I go back to get it. When I get to the cars that are waiting to take us, there is no room for me. So I hold onto the side of the car, and I’m talking about how I don’t have to go, that I can just go home, I know how to take the train back by myself - I’ve done it before.

So we pull over and we’re definitely not in the city anymore, but out on some stretch of highway through a golden field. I climb off and begin to get emotional, because this was definitely not how I imagined it would be, seeing my ex again. So everyone starts hugging me. Like, everyone, I think a bus full of people even pulled over to hug me cause there were mad amounts of people, more than just those in the two cars.

Everyone except the one who matters, who just stands and watches. And then I leave. And then he leaves.

Apparently he and my friend Katie had gotten into some shenanigans. She was trying to tell a bunch of us at a party that they were expecting a kid, and he cut her off. I got overwhelmed and then cut him off saying “let her speak, or I’ll make you let her speak!”

But it turns out Zac Efron has magical powers, and suddenly he was flying me around the room, and kept putting me down on a hot stove burner, all while singing me a song.

Then I remembered that I should write down the words to this song, because I really liked it, and there’s no way I’d remember it later. So I write them down, but of course that was all a dream too. I’ve forgotten it now :(

And then somehow Zac and I became friends, but there was something wrong with him because he didn’t know how to use a public bathroom so I had to show him how?

lol I really don’t understand my dreams. Ever.

Later on I had a dream about a much different University of Sydney, where everyone wears uniforms and the hallways are all rickety and poorly-built and the stairways induce vertigo and are difficult to ascend for someone with acrophobia like myself.

Well, I met a girl in class and we got to talking, and I told her I was off to French next. She said she was too and to follow her, but she misunderstood and led me to Advanced Choir. But along the way I met a boy who gave me his hand as I tried to cross a particularly daunting section of the staircase, as it swayed back and forth, to help me across. I instantly fell in love, but he was disappointed that I was to leave the country at the end of the semester. I never saw him again. Whomp whomp.

Then, in Advanced Choir, I try to fit in but everyone keeps making eyes at me, and I get picked on in warm-up games because I don’t know any of them and can’t roll my R’s. I keep trying to slip out inconspicuously but the opportunity never arises. And now I’m late for French!

And I guess that’s the end.

Friggin’ weird.

Ever since arriving in this country, the instances of me waking up thinking that there are any number of creepy crawlies in bed with me has climbed dramatically. It used to be predominantly spiders, but now it’s expanded to include snakes and also wombats.

I think it’s because my subconscious knows that my roommates routinely leave the balcony screen open, providing easy access for said creepy crawlies.

Some nights, sleeping well just isn’t an option.

I often wake with a start, thinking that there is a spider crawling around next to me in bed, usually a large one. It is only after I have sat up and cleared my mind that I realize that it is just a dream.

When that doesn’t happen, I toss away my sheets, leap from my bed and scramble for the light switch so I can find that motherf—ker and wreck its entire existence with one thoughtfully placed and increasingly accelerating shoe sole.

On the plus side, dreaming of spiders is supposedly good luck.

Seriously, my dreams are so strange. I had a dream that I went to Heidi Montag’s house but she was a right bitch, and wouldn’t let me play with her dogs. One of her dogs was named Parade, and I don’t remember the other one. Something equally stupid. Also I think this was Heidi pre-op.

And then I had a dream that I was on the beach with Mike Watkins and he kept talking about getting Four Loko, except he kept calling it Loud. But he definitely meant Four Loko. Then my ex was there and he wouldn’t even look at me, except he looked like someone else I know. But it was definitely meant to be him. Also a whole bunch of people from The Challenge were there, and I got into it with Veronica, who hasn’t been on a challenge for ages and I have no idea why she was in my dream. I really don’t get it lol.

Help?

severely disconcerting.

Especially when, in the dream, you’re fighting about what you supposedly broke up about. But in real life you broke up for a completely different reason.

Especially when, in the dream, you desperately want it to work out. But in real life you’re desperate for someone new.